Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Dream Journal - A temporary Icing for my own growth, and to please you.

[Jan 5-6 2016]

     I had that dream again. It's

different every time, but many of

the themes seem to overlap and

add up, over time, to some

increasingly lucid meaning.

     Drugs, dreams, meditation,

hypnotism, and other trance-

inducing methods have been

developed over the long and

varied arc of human civilization.

     Perhaps We are experiencing

human consciousness evolve, or

maybe we are finally reaching out

to multi and trans-dimensional

universes/dimensions.

     Modern pseudo-evidence

suggests that if Extraterrestials

ARE in contact with us, they are

not from "some where" in the

sense we understand. It seems

many of them are

"interdimensional" beings. They

are difficult to communicate with

and understand on a gut level,

because they are extremely

spiritual and far advanced

relative to us. They seem not to

fear death, and they don't seem

to mind lying if their long-term

goals are going smoothly. They

have interfered often with our

nuclear programs, sometimes

demolishing them, and sometimes,

such as in Chernobyl, possibly

helping to attenuate the

disaster.

     Did you make it through all

that hogwash? I hope I didn't do

permanent danger to that part of

the brain that can ever again pay

attention to something that goes

on and on and, even if it ends

awesomely, I feel cheated and

angry and bored.
"Fuck your warm-up intro

and fagtastic bullshit,

assholes!" - Local Child/Clown

/Taco Barrista/Transsexual

     Wait, what am I talking

about?

          OH YEAH!!!

     So, last night, I had this

dream. It was so terrifying and

real, because (as in all dreams)

the situation itself doesn't make

much sense. but for some reason

you just go along with it. This

is what's going on. It's insane,

but this is life now, and always

has and probably will be. So now

what?

 ...So that's how dreams work.


    So, partway through a dream

that was ALREADY complex, I

started having to deal with this

new problem. Apparently I got

drunk and high, and used a razor

-blade to cut the head of my

penis off. I felt like my

reaction to seeing and

remembering this are EXACTLY the

thoughts I would have had if this

were real. That's what makes

dreams so real. Not the content,

but the fact that you seem to not

just be watching them, but often

FULLY engaging in them, to the

point where you are horrified,

delighted, and given the

situation, you are free to

imagine all the shit that comes

now. Like, "Ok, I cut the tip of

my penis off. That sounds like

something I would do while high

and drunk!" And I slowly start

piecing together the night when I

did that. Oh man! I musta been

FUCKED up! And then you freak out

a little, realizing you're

capable of such a thing, and also

that this kind of thing seems to

be easy for you when you drink a

lot. Like, "DON'T DRINK A LOT

WHILE HIGH UNLESS YOU WANT TO

WAKE UP WITHOUT A DICK."

And now I have to deal with having no penile head.


     So, I'm in this world that

seems SOOOO real, and I'm slowly

coming to terms with the fact

that I just cut the head of my

penis off (the most sensitive

part - the equivalent of the

female clitoris). So, looking

back, I feel like the way I

reacted to this was EXACTLY how

I'd react for real, which makes

me learn about uncomfortable

masochistic and sociopathic

tendencies I need to deal with.