Penises

Awoke this morning to the phrase: "Hey Wallace. My grandparents are coming over. I'm gonna throw this penis into your room. Okay?"


I agreed and went back to sleep for five minutes. Upon awakening, I couldn't decide whether that exchange had really happened. A few minutes later, Connor's grandparents showed up. I looked around the room, and sure enough, there was a giant cardboard penis on my side of the room, hidden behind a curtain.

I also had this phrase in my mind, and had to write it down (on a bank envelope): "I embarked upon the quest of finally turning my penis into an elephant."

Should probably wash my towels. A collared shirt makes a poor substitute.